Under the Radar

Under the radar is a funny term when it comes to neurodivergence as a woman, because when you think about it, some of the signs are pretty obvious.

And yet, they still go unnoticed to this day.

If under the radar at school is...

Freaking out when you get one word spelled wrong in an essay,

In a sea of ticks and positive comments,

That one circle and underline undoes everything.

100% down to 99%.

Maybe the equipment is outdated.

If under the radar in society is…

Never knowing where your place in life is,

Feeling like you stand out and fade away all at once,

But not knowing the reason why,

And unable to explain because you don’t understand it yourself.

Maybe the operators aren’t correctly trained.

If under the radar when working is…

Giving 120% to everything every day,

When everyone else is giving 80% at most,

But your results are only 60% anyway,

So you feel ashamed and exhausted as a result.

Maybe the settings are wrongly calibrated.

If under the radar all your life is…

Getting strange looks for something you said,

Being ostracised for something you did,

Losing your job for failing to keep up,

Every aspect of living feels like you’re failing at it.

Maybe the entire system needs a massive upgrade to pick up these readings.

You’re not the problem.

You never were.

The radar is broken.

I’m sorry you were missed.

Every system needs to reboot at some point.

Let’s hope the one you needed will be there for the future.